To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
