She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
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Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
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