i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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