idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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