I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
