I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
