I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
