? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
