i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
