How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have fence marks all over my body
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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