And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
