oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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