So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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