well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
