butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
