Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
