does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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