Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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