it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
