You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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