so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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