why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
