just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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