I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
