yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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