The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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