I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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