the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
