i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize