so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
