yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
