I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize