she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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