Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
