i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
