Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
