It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!