sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?