i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
then he tried to convert me to islam
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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