We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
