arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
