He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
