Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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