I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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