So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
