do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You are a genius and a whore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
