No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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