Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
