You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dick very happy bro
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
