Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
