we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
