uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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