I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We are two peas in an std pod
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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