Quick, to the slutcave!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
