He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize