i need an iv and a liver transplant
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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