I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
