well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
