My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
