Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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