Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
